With a little help from my friends...

People can't understand why a man runs. They don't see any sport in it. Argue it lacks the sight and thrill of body contact. Yet, the conflict is there, more raw and challenging than any man versus man competition. For in running it is man against himself, the cruelest of opponents. The other runners are not the real enemies. His adversary lies within him, in his ability, with brain and heart to master himself and his emotions." - Glen Cunningham; 2-time Olympian

Running… with the Rock-n-Roll marathon looming, my training has focused mainly on running. Last week while running 20 miles with my marathon & ½ marathon training pals I found myself running alone. I have come to realize that will happen. I’m fast, but I start slow. I surge, but I get tired. It is really hard for me to stay with the pack. During this run I focused really hard to just run at a steady pace. But I still was alone for most of it. This really isn’t a bad thing for me. Knowing that my teammates are ahead or behind me is comforting and I’m ok with that. But even knowing that I’m not alone during these long runs I find my mind playing tricks on me. Cathy calls it “mind chatter”.
I won’t revisit every mile of my 20 mile run… and without a garmin I can’t really recall anyways. But there were some moments that stuck in my mind.
My morning began at 5:45am – rode to Seward Park with Shaun where we met Jessi. What a beautiful day. We were to meet Ruth, Jan and Stacey (Jessi’s friend) at mile 7. Cathy & Elizabeth started earlier so we’d meet up with them afterwards for a dip in the lake.
Mile 1-7: I started off with Jessi & Shaun. We were running along Lake Washington. It was beautiful. They pulled ahead of me… they were in my sights for the longest time but they slipped away until I couldn’t see them anymore. So I ran. I feel heavy and that early in the run my mind was wondering if I’d make it at all…
Mile 7-11: I made it to where we were meeting Jan, Ruth & Stacey. They were waiting for me and we refueled and stretched a bit. Then we were off. Again, I saw them all slip away. As I was coming up on the street that we had to go down I saw Jan waiting for me. She didn’t want me to miss the turn and get lost! I was so tired and Jan’s feet were fresh and ready to run. I felt like I was holding her back. I slipped behind but she always was in my sight. We reached the turnaround together and headed back the way we came. It was so kind of Jan to hang with me but I just couldn’t keep up with her pace. At least we were half way there.
Mile 11-15: We met again at Jan’s car to refuel and stretch. Again, we were off and I slipped away from the group. We were at Lecshi and I decided I needed to walk through the town before running again. Walking really pushed me behind everyone. But I knew I had to keep moving. I was just under I-90 and coming to the path by the water. I knew I was getting closer now and felt I needed to dig deep and stay focused on running. I found a good, long song on my ipod and I ran. I keep thinking that this is feeling ok. Happy thoughts. I ran all the way to Genese Park (Danskin swim & transition area). I think this was about mile 14 or 15. I decided to walk awhile and get my heart rate down. At this point I needed to take in the sights and sounds of this beautiful day and just enjoy it.
Mile 16-18: Started running again. I really wanted to focus on my running pace. I didn’t want to finish by walking. Looking ahead I didn’t see the girls. I starting to feel the pressure that everyone was waiting for me, again. I was hurting. I was having so many doubts come across my mind. I keep thinking this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Not just this day of running, running in general. I’m alone out in the middle of Seattle. My eyes welled up and I was about to cry. Why? Why do I let these thoughts in my mind? I had to get a hold of myself… All this time I’m moving. Run, walk, and run again. I get to mile 18. I know this because we have to run the 2 mile loop around Seward Park to get in our 20 miles. I get to the parking lot and figure 18 miles is good for one day. I’ll wait for the girls at water… but my destiny for this day wasn’t to end this way.
Mile 18-20: I’m walking in the parking lot towards the inviting lake when I see a familiar face. It’s Cathy running towards me. She gets closer and I say hi. Once she realizes it’s me she says “Hi Connie” and then almost breaks down. She was on mile 16 of 18 miles. I think the longest run she has had before that was maybe 14. She was debating if she should stop. I knew that she needed to finish. She would have never forgiven herself if she stopped. I told her we’d finish up the last 2 miles together. In a strange way I felt like an angel that she came upon a friend at the moment she needed me most. I forgot all about my pains and all the emotions that I had been having the last 4 hours. We finished up our last 2 miles together. We did what we set out to do that day.
To all of my running partners ~ Thank you for encouraging me and believing in me when I need it the most.

Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?' " - Peter Maher

Just keep moving forward & BE STRONG